Why Gracie Gold named her inner critic (and why you should too)

If you've been watching this years Winter Olympics I'm sure you'll agree with me that it's not just physically incredible what these athletes can do, it's mentally incredible! The bravery it must take to do flips, tricks and spins all in a perfect sequence on the snow and ice, is immense.

This idea that we need to recognise our mental health just as much as our physical health is something that Gracie Gold has been advocating for and speaks openly about how she struggled to help herself and felt like a 'burden' speaking to other people about it. She recently released a book called 'Outofshapeworthlessloser: A Memoir of Figure Skating, F*cking Up and Figuring It Out' which explores how she's been breaking down the 'perfect' image of herself she's spent a lifetime building up.

Now most of us aren't Olympic skaters but I bet you feel you could win a medal for the 'bravest face' sometimes. Am I right? We put on our professional 'costume', a 'happy' mask in front of our family and friends or an 'all together' filter for social media, all because we are terrified of showing the real us. Afraid those around us won't be able to handle the heaviness, won't know what to say. Afraid even that we won't know what to do with ourselves.

In her book, Gracie talks about this, she mentions feeling pressured to keep her struggles 'palatable' for the public. The trouble is, when we prioritise keeping others happy and being 'manageable' instead of being authentic, we create a split in our identity. This is where we risk mental overload, burnout and dissociation.

So, if you're reading this and recognising any of these feelings or patterns in your own life - here's 3 simple ways to start rebuilding your relationship with your inner critic and dropping the mask so you can live a life that feels more like yours:

• Can we name your inner voice: Just as Gracie named her inner critic the 'outofshapeworthlessloser', what would you name yours? Giving it a name creates space between you and the thought, which can help it feel less 'real'

  
  

• Embrace the 'messy middle': Let's unpack that pressure to be 'perfect' and reframe your beliefs and thoughts about yourself so that you don't need to keep waiting to get started - diving in right now where you are is just right. Your anxiety is telling you you need to prepare for all circumstances but you don't, that's a lie keeping you stuck

  
  

• Shared movement: Gracie often talks about how moving with others (like her sister) helped her heal. Finding someone who you feel comfortable around (even if that's just your therapist for now) is going to help so much. You can then look for that trusting relationship in others and realise there are individuals who want to help and support you, just as much as you want to be there for them.

We often fear it's going to take a BIG change to feel any different, but honestly trust me when I tell you that it isn't. Even if this blog helps you just to simply become more aware of your inner critic than before, that consciousness is huge - without it you felt at mercy of what the voice was saying but with it, you realise you get to decide what you do with it: how true it is (if at all), how unhelpful it is, how negative it is etc. Just like we train our bodies, our minds need training too and you are the best trainer it's ever going to get.

Thank you for reading. If you enjoy learning about ways to work with your mind, why not subscribe to my monthly newsletter and join us on Instagram at @littleoasistherapy.

More information can be found on the Olympic Channel Podcast, click here to watch Gracie Gold on Mental Health.