"Women loose their lives to bring life into this world" - How can we better support mums through postnatal depression?

Last year, over 85,000 women in the UK were diagnosed with postnatal depression. That number is staggering, but the reality is the numbers would have been far higher - with many likely suffering silently and never getting the support they need. I asked myself the question, how can we do better?

Being totally upfront, I haven't had a baby so with the fear I may do the mums a disservice I reached out to a very good friend of mine who read through this blog and gave me the all-clear mum check! Although my experience isn't first hand, I see the impacts everyday: in clients, friends, family, all around us - we highlight the magical moments and dismiss the overwhelming, lonely, relentlessness of motherhood. I wanted to do this post to simply open up space for support.

I listened to Bre Tiesi speak about women needing love & care after giving birth, during a podcast with Paul Brunson - I'll link at the end for anyone who is interested because it's certainly worth a listen. She talks about how in the Asian culture they have hospitals to take care of the mother, about how 'the mother is at the forefront because she's going to take care of the child' and how that support is so needed, but not something we have in other cultures. What we do certainly have in the UK is decades of conversations around maternal mental health that have been laced with shame and minimisation, so here's my views on how we could help support mums going forward:

1. Rewrite the narrative - Generational trauma and ways of doing things are passed down the family tree. Because of this, mums often brush off the early warning signs, fearing they are being 'too much' or 'too sensitive'. They doubt their own instincts and push through - all while feeling less like themselves. It isn't just exhaustion. It's not just a hormonal wobble. Postnatal depression is real, it's common and it's something no one should have to battle through alone.

   
   

2. Recognise the signs - Many women I speak to in therapy say things like "I thought I was just being dramatic", "I didn't want to seem ungrateful" or "I feel so guilty for feeling this way". There is a perception of postnatal depression looking like constant crying or deep sadness and sometimes it can be, but sometimes it's:

   
   

   🫶 Feeling emotionally numb

   🫶 Struggling to bond with your baby

   🫶 Feeling easily irritated or overwhelmed

   🫶 Constant self-doubt and guilt

   🫶 A heavy sense that you’re failing

   
   

3. Validating your experience - Whether you are a new mum or someone still carrying the emotional weight from early motherhood years - your experience is valid. Needing support doesn't make you weak, or any less capable than anyone else - it just makes you human.

   
   

   If this resonates with you, or someone you love - you're not alone. A gentle step forward might look like:

   💛 Talking to your GP or health visitor

   💛 Reaching out to a therapist or support group

   💛 Simply telling one person how you're really feeling

   
   

   The Independent published an article this month about the likelihood of recovery for mothers who receive talking therapy and other forms of care from mental health services. If having an un-biased, calming space to offload and rediscover your identity as a mum sounds helpful to you, click here to contact me about therapy sessions.

   
   

*Listen to the podcast episode from We Need to Talk here