If I could start my anxiety healing journey again: 3 truths I'd tell myself

Around 8 years ago, my life as I knew it was completely flipped and I was forced into what I can only describe as emptiness - a never ending dark tunnel that became the journey everyday. I didn't realise at the time, I hadn't ever considered myself anxious. I just thought that sensitivity and overthinking was my personality. My mum was rushed to hospital one evening and we didn't know it then but that was the first day of a new future. We are so grateful and lucky she survived and made an amazing recovery, however there is no denying that things have changed and will never go back to the way they were. Her long stay in hospital was where I first embarked on my counselling journey - I began a part-time diploma and began learning who I was. Fast forward to now, I've worked with hundreds of clients as a qualified counsellor but most importantly, I've lived through my experience of finding peace and acceptance within myself. I've figured out the techniques that work for me to stay balanced.

So let's get started. Here are the 3 truths that I'd tell myself if I were starting that anxiety healing journey all over again. The truths that changed everything:

1: Your body is not your enemy; It’s a messenger.

When anxiety hits, it feels like our bodies are betraying us. The racing heart, the tight chest, the shaky hands, sweaty palms; it's a terrifying experience. I used to fight these physical symptoms, trying to force them away, which only made them worse.

What I know now: Your body isn't working against you; it's communicating with you. These physical sensations are messengers, signals from your nervous system trying to protect you from a perceived threat. The path to healing isn't about fighting the messengers but actually listening to them.

What I’d do differently: I would stop trying to push the feelings away. I would practice grounding exercises to soothe my nervous system, acknowledging the sensations with kindness instead of fear. I’d learn to say, "I see you, heart racing, but I know I'm safe," giving my body permission to calm down on its own. A particular memory of mine goes back to experiencing deep panic whenever I was trying to sleep, I felt like my body was going to forget to breathe and I couldn't settle. I took myself out for a walk to get out the house, just me my water bottle and nature - I will always remember how at peace that made me feel.

2: Consistency is more important than perfection.

My early journey was all or nothing. I'd have a perfect week of not overthinking and looking after myself better and then a single anxious moment would make me feel like a complete failure. I'd throw in the towel, convinced I was a lost cause.

What I know now: There is no such thing as a perfect healing journey. Progress is not linear. What truly matters is showing up for yourself, even on the days you feel you’ve failed. Consistency isn't about being flawless; it's about being relentless in your self-compassion.

What I’d do differently: I would focus on "tiny habits" instead of monumental changes. I wouldn't worry about meditating or exercising for an hour; I’d celebrate doing something for myself for 60 seconds. I would see a day with anxiety as a learning opportunity, not a failure. My goal would be to be a gentle, consistent presence for myself, not a harsh judge.

3: You don’t have to heal your anxiety alone.

I was convinced that my anxiety was a sign of weakness, something I had to hide and fix on my own. I was the "strong one," the one who held it all together and I didn't know how to be vulnerable in front of others without worrying about what they'd think.

What I know now: We all struggle. Feeling isn't a weakness, it's human and it's an act of courage to share that with others. You deserve to take up space. You're not a burden. You don't have to be in crisis to talk to a professional - finding a therapist who can help guide you through, is a brave step and can create a new path forward for you that you've been longing for.

What I’d do differently: I would have found a integrative counsellor much sooner. I would have sought out a safe space to talk to someone who didn’t try to 'fix' me but instead helped me understand myself. I would have invested in a guide who could hold the map, so I didn't have to keep wandering lost in the dark.

If you're at the beginning of your journey, or if you feel stuck somewhere in the middle, I want you to know this: You are not broken. You don't have to carry this heavy weight alone. The answers are not found in trying harder, but in learning to be softer with yourself.

Your own little oasis is waiting. If you’re ready to take that next step with a compassionate guide, you can learn more about my 1-1 sessions via my website, I'd be honoured to help you.

Enjoyed this? Find more mental health tips and soothing quotes over on my Instagram page.